Black "n" Blue

On Wednesday we arrived at the Hospital at 10:00 a.m.  They took us back around 11:00.  As soon as we got back there Thomas had to help me get dressed into a gown, dorky socks, & a nerdy hair net.  Of course, right away he wanted to take a pic, but thankfully I talked him out of it....that was until the nurse came and talked Thomas right back into taking a pic and trying to convince him to post it on facebook!!!  He did take a pic, but thank goodness it didn't make a facebook appearance.   They started an IV and the anaesthesiologist came to talk with us while we waited.  Dr. B also came and talked with us for a bit.  This was the worst part...waiting....Thomas & I just kept telling each other that this is one more step closer to starting our family!!! 

A nurse came at about 12:15 to take me to the operating room.  With a kiss goodbye from Hardy, I was off.  That was one crazy feeling...walking into the operating room knowing that you are getting ready to be worked on.  The nurses helped me get on to the operating table and then I just remember a lot of people moving all around me getting things ready.  The anaesthesiologist came in and told me to pick a destination because he was about to send me on a trip...and that's the last thing I remember about the operating room.  When Dr. B finished, she went out and talked to Thomas.  She told him the my uterus looked good, and that one of my ovaries looked great, but the other one wasn't so good.  She made an extra incision to cut off adhesion's from the fallopian tube.  I guess she talked to me too and showed me pics, but I don't remember anything.  I'm looking forward to meeting with her at my post-op appointment to find out all the details.


An hour and a half later, when I came to in recovery I immediately felt like someone had shot me in the shoulder...Dr. B wasn't kidding about the weird shoulder pain!!!  For the next couple hours I just remember being kinda in and out.  They were giving me morphine for the pain, which made my skin burn and my body shake, but totally eliminated the pain.  Around 3:15 they took me into a different recovery room where I finally got to see Thomas and my mom.  Poor Thomas, didn't make it too long....he was definitely in pass out mode just looking at me and thinking about what had happened.  So, I talked him into waiting outside for me while mom and the nurses helped me get dressed.  Good thing he stepped out....one of my incisions had burst open!!!  He would have been passed out for sure!!!  Once, I was cleaned up and dressed I stood up and tried to get in the wheelchair, but couldn't make it...felt like I was going to pass out too. Mom fanned me for a while and finally, around 4:30 I was able to be wheeled to the car.  I owe Thomas and my mom a huge thank you...they were awesome....and took great care of me!!!

I guess I didn't think the pain would be as bad as it has been.  I'm very sore, black and blue, and my entire abdomen is swollen.  Wednesday I was pretty out of it, yesterday the pain was pretty bad, so I'm hoping today will be lots better.  My husband has been the greatest!  He's taking great care of me!  Once again, I don't know what I did to be blessed with such an amazing man!!!! 

Here's one of the pics he took of me while waiting...thankfully this is minus the hair net! Check out those socks!!!

Pre-Op Complete

I went this morning to meet with Dr. B and then on to the hospital.  She told me what to expect, every detail of the surgery, gave me my prescription for pain meds, and answered my questions.  It definitely made me feel better when she told me that not only is she the surgeon, but she has also been the patient for this same surgery...so, she knows exactly what it feels like and what the recovery is like.  She warned me that the worst part is the air.  During surgery she will insert air into my abdomen, to blow it up so she can see what's going on.  Before sewing me up, she will get as much of the air out, but more than likely won't be able to get all of it and therefore it goes into my bloodstream and causes shoulder pain....weird huh.  She'll meet with me right before they put me out, and as soon as she's finished she'll meet with Thomas.  She's thinking the surgery will take probably around an hour and a half - two hours.  If she needs to make decisions during surgery about removals...I signed off that Thomas can make the decision...lucky guy! 

The hospital pre-op was a bit more time consuming.  I had to answer 9,000 questions, urine sample, blood work, and then answer another 9,000 questions about my latex allergy.  I think they were more concerned about Thomas feeling comfortable than me....she told me three times that he needs to bring a jacket (so he doesn't get cold in the waiting room), a snack (because he will be very hungry) and something to read (because he will be in the waiting room for 6 hours and she doesn't want him to be bored)....unbelievable!!!

So, Wednesday it is....arrive at 10:00, surgery begins at 11:45, and approx. 4-5 hours in recovery.  I'm really more excited to know what's going on than worried.  I'll be fine...and I have Christmas to look forward to!!!

Just a Lil' Update

Dr. B's Nurse called this morning and informed me that insurance is going to help us out with the surgery (thank goodness), so it's officially scheduled for December 15th at 10:30 a.m.  After, I hung up the phone I glanced at the calendar...that's really soon!  She said that we would be getting more info. tomorrow and she would call me back with my pre-op appointment times: one with Dr. B and the other with the hospital.  So, it's fair to say that the ball is definitely rolling.  We also decided to push back IVF until February...the IVF coordinator was worried that with my insurance changing Jan 1st that we might have to pay out of pocket for our meds, and she also wants my body to have some time to heal after surgery.  I have to admit that I wasn't very excited about this....I had my heart set on January.  I know, I know, "It's only a month", but for someone who has been waiting month after month after month after month....a "month" feels like eternity!!!  I was really, really, really bummed and it took me a while to pull myself out of it and to get back to being "Kelly".  I definitely owe my awesome in-laws an apology...they arrived the same day that we found out about all the news & changes and I tried sooo hard to be myself and not to think about it, but I struggled.  It's like feeling guilty for being the one with the messed up body and frustrated because every treatment we try seems to not work out, and scared because I know that IVF is the last option. 

Thank goodness, I'm back to being "ME" and I'm determined to stay positive and optimistic.  There is absolutely nothing I can do to fix this infertility struggle, so I have to let go and give it all to God...easier said than done, but I am really trying and it is really helping!!! 

"Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything;   tell God your needs, and don't forget to thank Him for His answers.  If you do this, you will experience God's peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand.  His peace will keep your thoughts and your hearts quiet and at rest as you trust in Christ."   - Philippians 4:6-7

P.S. Here's Gussers next to the Christmas Tree...so far he hasn't eaten it, peed on it, or stolen any ornaments!!! Isn't he the cutest puppy!!!

"I believe in Hope"

Our little pea isn't yet in the pod like we had hoped...another unsuccessful IUI.  I have never experienced such frustration.  It's like being kicked in the jaw when you're already down and out, and then replaying it every month.  I knew a lot rode on this month, but I guess I just tried to put that thought out of mind/out of sight, but now it's full fledged reality.  We now have no backup when it comes to options, meaning that while trying IUI it eases your mind knowing that if IUI doesn't work that there is always IVF.  Now, we have stepped into the last option...the plunge without a safety net.  IVF is it....please Lord help us...let this work for us!

That brings me to our big meeting with with Dr. B today.  She believes that "something" just isn't right...due to our age, four medicated cycles paired with three IUI's should have worked.  She told us that if we were her kids that she would advise us to move on to the next step or rather steps. 

Step 1:  Laparoscopy surgery which is where she would make an incision below my bellybutton and another above the pelvic bone.  She would use a scope to see if and how much endometriosis is present and then remove as much of it as she can....hopefully cleaning everything up to increase our odds for pregnancy.  My tests are borderline for endometriosis and that worries her, she even said that a lot of patients are symptom free, but have lots of it.  She also said, that she could get in their and see that everything looks good.  Either way we would have a better idea of what's causing the problem.  Thomas and I both agreed that we want to go forward with the surgery.  The only thing is the money...we are waiting to see that insurance will cover it.

Step 2:  IVF (In Vitro Fertilization).  It's official, we have scheduled IVF for January and should hear back from the coordinator by Monday with more details.  Dr. B explained everything to us and answered all 900 of our questions.  If there's one thing about this journey that I feel confident in, it is that we have found an amazing doctor.  She makes us feel comfortable and takes the time to explain everything in detail and answer any question we might have.  Today, she was telling us that she feels confident about moving on and telling us statistically how often it is successful and how often is fails and then she just kinda stopped and looked at us.  She then went on to tell us about "hope" and how she believes in it, and that's the toughest part of her job...because sometimes a couple is sitting across from her and "hope" is all they have left, and she has to tell them that the chance of them bringing a child into the world is very, very slim...and she hates that day, because right then and there she feels like she is taking away the last bit of "hope" that they had left.  She then looked across at us and said, that she honestly believes that when all is said and done, she feels that we will one day have a baby and that we shouldn't lose "hope".  I thought that was pretty cool...I mean, when you're down and out and your doctor says something like that....It means something.

So, for now we will hold on to our "Faith" and our "Hope" that all will one day work out for us!  One day, we will get our first positive, and one day we will add a beautiful baby to our lil' family, and on that day we will look back at this journey and smile, because it will ALL be worth it!!!!

9 Down...6 to GO!

Thank goodness the 2ww is over half way behind us....we can make it 6 days!  This morning I went in for Progesterone blood work.  Thomas called the PRN line for our results and it came back at 16.9 which is a good number.  Now, we just wait until the 22nd for more blood work/appt. with Dr. B.

This past weekend Hardy and I transformed into professional chefs....okay, maybe not pros quite yet, but we're well on our way!!!  Our church had a bake sale, so we made four loaves of Banana Bread, forty cinnamon rolls, and two lemon meringue pies.  You should have seen the kitchen...it was a crazy mess, but we had an absolute blast and everything turned out great!  Thomas is the official "meringue" guy!!!  He has mastered it!

Well, until next time we will pray, pray, pray that this is the month!!!  It sure would make Thanksgiving just PERFECT!

2ww countdown is on!

We went in Saturday morning for insemination.  It was a little rocky, but worked out smoothly in the end. So now the dreaded 2ww (2 week-wait) begins.  I pray that it flies by!  Actually this month it should be the 2ww + 2 extra days darn it!  Since, we inseminated on a Saturday we won't go in for our progesterone blood work until Monday the 15th and our pregnancy blood test until Monday the 22nd. Lets hope for good news!!!!

Lots to look forward to...
22nd: blood test & Meeting with Dr. B
23rd: Thomas's parents arrive for Thanksgiving
24th-28th: Thanksgiving Break...NO SCHOOL!
25th: Mom's B-day & Thanksgiving

Let the 2ww speed past and then time can go as slow as it pleases for Thanksgiving Break!!!

Super-Sized

Well, I'll start with the bad news...Hardy and I both over shot our predictions of follicle count and size by a long shot.  There was only one follicle that looks mature enough to be fertilized. The good news is that at least there was one and...it was "Super-Sized"!  It measured a 28, which is huge!  There were two more, but they only measured a 12 and 14.  Our nurse called me around 1:00 and said that Dr. B wanted me to trigger shot asap and insemination is on for tomorrow morning. 

I'm a bit nervous because the on call doctor is going to do the procedure due to the day falling on the weekend.  I'm so very confident and comfortable with Dr. B and wish she was going to do it but, I guess I better gear up for Dr. P.  Surely, he's good since he's in partnership with her.  I pray everything goes smoothly tomorrow and that this works out for us this time.  We set up an appointment for the 22nd for our  IVF consultation just in case we need it.  Let's keep the prayers rolling!!!

Time for Pizza and a movie with the hub!  I love Friday Nights! 

The Rosary...

School has been a lot of fun this week....I can actually see my kids learning....that's the best feeling as an educator!  Trying every possible way to teach them until at last it clicks and you see it in their eyes and you know they've got it!!!  I pray that next week is even better!!!

Friday is when we go to the doctor for our ultra sound and blood work to check follicle development.  Thomas and I are betting on this one: he says there will be 6 (mr. optimistic...another reason why I love him) I'm thinking that there will be 4!  We will also find out what day for IUI: Sunday or Monday.  Moral of the story....this weekend will be prayer time!  Thomas says he's pulling out all the tricks he can think of for this weekend.  He's bringing his Grandma's Rosary to all of our appointments along with praying his heart out.  I've got to say....I think he's on to something....Thomas had that Rosary at Michael's bedside all throughout his difficult medical scare and look what happened...a miracle!  Maybe, just maybe this will be our miracle month!!!!

Here we go again...one last IUI

We went to the doctor today and had a baseline u/s to make sure everything looks good to push forward.  Good news...the cysts are gone!  We are going to do one more IUI this cycle.  Hopefully, this is OUR month and we will get our first ever positive on 11-22-10!  If this isn't the case then we will meet with Dr. B on 11-22-10 (not wasting any time) to plan out IVF. 

So, until 11-22-10 we will carry on with medicine this week, u/s, trigger shot, and IUI next week.

Wish Us Luck!

P.S.  There is no one else in the entire world that I would rather share this crazy, frustrating journey with than my amazing best friend/husband.  Thomas gets me through the tough times and keeps me smiling.  He never misses a beat...at every doctors appointment and always has a positive outlook and a smile.  Thank you God for blessing me with this man of great character!  I love him more than I can express in words!

Back to the "Real" World!

Our vacation with Thomas's family was AWESOME!  We all had such a great time and made many memories!  Although, it would have been even more fun if the Vikings had pulled out the"W"...at least, it was a very exciting, nail biter type of game!!!

We arrived back home mid-day and are back to the real world of work and doctor appointments.  I called my nurse this morning to tell her that day 1 was Sunday.  She said that Dr. B would go over my chart in the morning and for Thomas and I to come in at 11:45 to find out where our fertility journey is headed next.  If she thinks we should do another IUI then I will have my base line tomorrow...which is what I'm a touch nervous about.  I'm scared that the cysts from last month are still lingering.  I guess only time will tell. 

Well, I'm callin' it a night...early I know, but the Vikings/Packers kept me up until 12 followed by waking up at 4:40 to catch a plane.  I'm exhausted and have to get some rest in order to be pumped up and ready to teach my awesome 6th graders some social studies in the a.m.!!!!

Lambeau Leap...Go Vikings!!!

Thomas and I are in Green Bay WI for the Packers vs. Vikings game!  We flew up on Friday and met his family and are having a great time!  We're relaxing at the hotel for a bit before heading to tailgate at Brett Favre Steakhouse.  I have just enough time for a quick Blog Post.

Update on the "Hardy Baby":  Friday before we went to the airport we stopped by the Fertility Center for the blood test and while waiting for our plane to take off the phone rang with results.  We were so excited to be able an announce that we were pregnant to Thomas's fam in Green Bay, but God had other plans....our nurse let us know that it didn't work yet again :-(.  All I could say to her was, "Surprise, surprise another negative".  It sure made for a long sad plane ride and beginning of our trip for the two of us.  She said that Dr. B was going to look over our file and let us know what she thinks the next step of our fertility journey should be: either another round of IUI or on to IVF.  We're just trying not to think about it too much while here on vacation...easier said than done, but were TRYING. It's looking like we'll go to the doctor tomorrow afternoon after landing back in OK.

Well, I wish I had better news....I guess all I can say for now is "Go Vikings"!!!

2ww = 1/2 down!

Thank goodness it's Friday!  All in all this week was a really good week.  My students were motivated and ready to learn which makes my life as a 6th grade teacher way more enjoyable!  What tops that is that this week rolled in at a "2" on the drama scale from 1-10 and my friends...that is IMPRESSIVE! 2's don't make an appearance most weeks....6th grade girls are all about the drama!

Update on the lil' pea we're praying so hard for: 
Day 22 - 7d piui
      I went in this morning to have blood drawn to measure progesterone.  Thomas got the results on the PRN line this afternoon and our nurse said it was 18.8 which is good.  That's high enough that I don't have to take suppository supplements.  So now the countdown keeps on keepin on until next Friday when we go in for the infamous pregnancy blood test!  I've got to emphasize how much I am not a fan of the 2ww.  Time crawls no matter what is on the agenda and it's always lingering in the back of my mind.  I think only those that have experienced or are experiencing infertility can relate to the 2ww time capsule.  The only way I can explain it to an outsider is that it's like somebody pressing a button to put our lives in slow motion or like when you're 7 years old and Christmas is only a couple days away.  Patience and sidetracks are key!  Thank goodness for mom's and good friends. This weekend is girls weekend at a friends cabin!  My mom, myself, and three other amazing friends who I teach with!  I can't wait for all the laughs!!! My boys "Thomas and Gus" are going to hold down the fort while I'm gone.  I think they are also a little excited for some guy time which will probably consist of lots and lots of football, naps, and walks in the neighborhood so Gus can eat some frogs and pick up some girl neighbor dogs with Thomas as his wing man!

A first time for everything!

I've been telling myself that I was going to start a blog for way too long!!! So, here I am...FINALLY...writing my first post! 

Throughout the first 23 years of my life, I prayed and prayed for the man that I would one day meet and spend the rest of my life with.  I'll never forget the day I met him.  I guess one could say that it was love at first sight.  Within a month I was smitten!  He was it for me, he was that guy that I had been praying for my entire life.  The morning of our wedding I remember praying as I drove to the church...thanking God for blessing me with the man of my dreams.  I also had to pray to ask for some forgiveness for losing my patience time and time again...from time to time or ALL the time I had been tired of the waiting game.  When am I going to meet him? Is he really out there?  Well, God taught me an awesome lesson about good ol' patience: I can't live on my planning and my time, God has his plan and I have to trust in him and HIS timing!!!

That brings me to the title of my blog, "We've got the pod...praying for the Pea".  God is sure testing my patience once again.  My husband and I have been trying to get pregnant for what seems like ages (17 months to be exact, but who's counting).  It's turned out to be a bit of a struggle.  We have been refereed out to a specialist and have been with her since June.  We are on our third cycle of clomid with trigger shots and we just had our second IUI on Saturday.  So I am three days into the 2ww...which once again is a patience tester!!!  If it doesn't work this time we are meeting to discuss our next move...more IUI's? Dif. drugs? IVF?  Let's just hope that our lil' pea or pea's are already in the pod, so we don't have to have that meeting!!!

Well, that's the update and the end of my first post!  I would write more, but I've gotta be honest....Parenthood is coming on in a couple minutes and I can't miss it!!!