"I believe in Hope"

Our little pea isn't yet in the pod like we had hoped...another unsuccessful IUI.  I have never experienced such frustration.  It's like being kicked in the jaw when you're already down and out, and then replaying it every month.  I knew a lot rode on this month, but I guess I just tried to put that thought out of mind/out of sight, but now it's full fledged reality.  We now have no backup when it comes to options, meaning that while trying IUI it eases your mind knowing that if IUI doesn't work that there is always IVF.  Now, we have stepped into the last option...the plunge without a safety net.  IVF is it....please Lord help us...let this work for us!

That brings me to our big meeting with with Dr. B today.  She believes that "something" just isn't right...due to our age, four medicated cycles paired with three IUI's should have worked.  She told us that if we were her kids that she would advise us to move on to the next step or rather steps. 

Step 1:  Laparoscopy surgery which is where she would make an incision below my bellybutton and another above the pelvic bone.  She would use a scope to see if and how much endometriosis is present and then remove as much of it as she can....hopefully cleaning everything up to increase our odds for pregnancy.  My tests are borderline for endometriosis and that worries her, she even said that a lot of patients are symptom free, but have lots of it.  She also said, that she could get in their and see that everything looks good.  Either way we would have a better idea of what's causing the problem.  Thomas and I both agreed that we want to go forward with the surgery.  The only thing is the money...we are waiting to see that insurance will cover it.

Step 2:  IVF (In Vitro Fertilization).  It's official, we have scheduled IVF for January and should hear back from the coordinator by Monday with more details.  Dr. B explained everything to us and answered all 900 of our questions.  If there's one thing about this journey that I feel confident in, it is that we have found an amazing doctor.  She makes us feel comfortable and takes the time to explain everything in detail and answer any question we might have.  Today, she was telling us that she feels confident about moving on and telling us statistically how often it is successful and how often is fails and then she just kinda stopped and looked at us.  She then went on to tell us about "hope" and how she believes in it, and that's the toughest part of her job...because sometimes a couple is sitting across from her and "hope" is all they have left, and she has to tell them that the chance of them bringing a child into the world is very, very slim...and she hates that day, because right then and there she feels like she is taking away the last bit of "hope" that they had left.  She then looked across at us and said, that she honestly believes that when all is said and done, she feels that we will one day have a baby and that we shouldn't lose "hope".  I thought that was pretty cool...I mean, when you're down and out and your doctor says something like that....It means something.

So, for now we will hold on to our "Faith" and our "Hope" that all will one day work out for us!  One day, we will get our first positive, and one day we will add a beautiful baby to our lil' family, and on that day we will look back at this journey and smile, because it will ALL be worth it!!!!

9 Down...6 to GO!

Thank goodness the 2ww is over half way behind us....we can make it 6 days!  This morning I went in for Progesterone blood work.  Thomas called the PRN line for our results and it came back at 16.9 which is a good number.  Now, we just wait until the 22nd for more blood work/appt. with Dr. B.

This past weekend Hardy and I transformed into professional chefs....okay, maybe not pros quite yet, but we're well on our way!!!  Our church had a bake sale, so we made four loaves of Banana Bread, forty cinnamon rolls, and two lemon meringue pies.  You should have seen the kitchen...it was a crazy mess, but we had an absolute blast and everything turned out great!  Thomas is the official "meringue" guy!!!  He has mastered it!

Well, until next time we will pray, pray, pray that this is the month!!!  It sure would make Thanksgiving just PERFECT!

2ww countdown is on!

We went in Saturday morning for insemination.  It was a little rocky, but worked out smoothly in the end. So now the dreaded 2ww (2 week-wait) begins.  I pray that it flies by!  Actually this month it should be the 2ww + 2 extra days darn it!  Since, we inseminated on a Saturday we won't go in for our progesterone blood work until Monday the 15th and our pregnancy blood test until Monday the 22nd. Lets hope for good news!!!!

Lots to look forward to...
22nd: blood test & Meeting with Dr. B
23rd: Thomas's parents arrive for Thanksgiving
24th-28th: Thanksgiving Break...NO SCHOOL!
25th: Mom's B-day & Thanksgiving

Let the 2ww speed past and then time can go as slow as it pleases for Thanksgiving Break!!!

Super-Sized

Well, I'll start with the bad news...Hardy and I both over shot our predictions of follicle count and size by a long shot.  There was only one follicle that looks mature enough to be fertilized. The good news is that at least there was one and...it was "Super-Sized"!  It measured a 28, which is huge!  There were two more, but they only measured a 12 and 14.  Our nurse called me around 1:00 and said that Dr. B wanted me to trigger shot asap and insemination is on for tomorrow morning. 

I'm a bit nervous because the on call doctor is going to do the procedure due to the day falling on the weekend.  I'm so very confident and comfortable with Dr. B and wish she was going to do it but, I guess I better gear up for Dr. P.  Surely, he's good since he's in partnership with her.  I pray everything goes smoothly tomorrow and that this works out for us this time.  We set up an appointment for the 22nd for our  IVF consultation just in case we need it.  Let's keep the prayers rolling!!!

Time for Pizza and a movie with the hub!  I love Friday Nights! 

The Rosary...

School has been a lot of fun this week....I can actually see my kids learning....that's the best feeling as an educator!  Trying every possible way to teach them until at last it clicks and you see it in their eyes and you know they've got it!!!  I pray that next week is even better!!!

Friday is when we go to the doctor for our ultra sound and blood work to check follicle development.  Thomas and I are betting on this one: he says there will be 6 (mr. optimistic...another reason why I love him) I'm thinking that there will be 4!  We will also find out what day for IUI: Sunday or Monday.  Moral of the story....this weekend will be prayer time!  Thomas says he's pulling out all the tricks he can think of for this weekend.  He's bringing his Grandma's Rosary to all of our appointments along with praying his heart out.  I've got to say....I think he's on to something....Thomas had that Rosary at Michael's bedside all throughout his difficult medical scare and look what happened...a miracle!  Maybe, just maybe this will be our miracle month!!!!