Staying Postive

It's almost been two weeks and has honestly felt like two months...I guess time drags when you're on the mend trying to put yourself back together.  We're doing better everyday and are doing our best to stay positive.  I have to admit that staying "positive" has never been so hard.  Thomas definitely takes the cake on this one...he has been amazing...he motivates me everyday to keep smiling & pushing through. 

As for now, we are waiting for our next leg of this tenacious journey to begin.  Surprise, suprise we're once again waiting.  If anyone needs any help in the "patience" department, just give us a call...we can most definitely hook you up!  In the mean time I will continue to see Dr. L.B. once a week & we will meet with Dr.B again soon. 

Down & Out

On Wednesday I went in for blood work at 8:00 and at 11:15 the phone rang with the news.  My heart sank as soon as I heard the tone of her voice...I knew what she was about to say & I didn't want to hear it...hanging up on her actually crossed my mind.  She told me that my number had done the opposite of what we had hoped and prayed so hard that it would do.  It went down to 15...which means that we lost both of our little peas.  I don't know how else to describe myself other than heartbroken & full of frustration.  I know that God has a plan, and this is it...I get that & believe it, but it still doesn't take the hurt away. 

After hearing the news, I couldn't stop the tears...and after the tears came the frustration & just wanting to scream and punch something.  To top off the day, Thomas was off on a work trip to Mississippi...killer timing for him to have to leave.  Poor guy...leaving was the last thing he wanted to do.  Thank goodness it was just an overnight trip.  I've got to say that Dr. L.B. came through at just the right time.  She had me come in that afternoon and was so helpful.  She answered all of my questions, explained to me what to expect in the next few days and just listened as I explained my frustrations.  I left her office feeling a lot better than when I walked in.  Pretty awesome to have a doctor who cares that much.

As for now, Thomas and I are taking the days as they come.  We go back to meet with Dr. B a week from Monday.  We look forward to hearing her thoughts on our failed cycle and to hear what she thinks is in the cards for us in the future.  We most definitely have lots of questions for her & hope that she has lots of answers.

To our little peas...we will always love you & can't wait to meet you in Heaven!

More Waiting...

Yesterday morning at 8:15 I went in for my beta test.  We came home and did some more of what we seem to do a lot of lately......WAIT.  We waited by the phone for the call that could possibly change our lives.  It finally rang at 10:45.  I nervously answered and she said,

"You're pregnant, but....your level came back at 23 and that is a very low number for 14dpt, so either there's something not going good with the babies, or you're just one of the very few women that are slow hcg producers.  We want you to keep taking your meds & come back Wednesday morning for another beta test.  If your number doubles then things could look up. So, we'll all keep our fingers and toes crossed for a double on Wednesday."

So, there you have it...more waiting.  We are more nervous/scared than ever, but are still trying to stay positive.  All we can do now is pray that things go well on Wednesday.  I let Dr. L.B. know the news yesterday and she sent me a lot of helpful information about the numbers and arranged to get me in today.  I felt a lot better and more relaxed after I left her office.

So, until tomorrow...we will continue to wait & pray...with our fingers and toes crossed for good news.

One Week!

Exactly one week from today this dreadful  2ww will be over & we can't wait!!!  Today, it was back to work for me...what a day it was too!  It was the beginning of the 50 minute longer school day, golf was crazy, & I even had one break down with full fledged tears.  Thank goodness only one other teacher witnessed the tears...so embarrassing...a stressful situation mixed with my injections and hormones equals emotional craziness.  Once again, Thomas came through and turned a not so good day into a great evening.  He surprised me & showed up to golf practice & then made me dinner!  I love that guy so darn much!!! He's the best! 

Speaking of Hardy, I've got a good story on him!!!  Every night he gives me my progesterone shot & as I mentioned in my last post...the needle is HUGE!  Well, last night he gave me the shot like always and then he went to put the cap on the needle in order to remove it from the syringe.  Lets just say things didn't go as planned.  He missed with the lid and stabbed himself with the needle & it went all the way through his THUMB!!!  It was and still looks pretty nasty.  Poor guy!  Although, I did have to remind him that I have to feel that needle every night...now, he legitimately feels my pain!  Here's a pic of him, Gus, & the wounded/bandaged thumb.

Back to my not so good day...when I arrived home Thomas handed me a letter that we received today from his cousin Sheri.  What a perfect day to receive a letter like this one.  It made my day & brought tears to my eyes.  She also sent two prayers that we will most definitely add to our nightly list.  Thank you Sheri for your words of encouragement and for all the prayers...it truly means so much to us! 

Until, my next post we will continue to stay positive, PATIENT, and pray for good news!

2 Week Wait...

The infamous two week wait is harder than ever, but as of today we are three days down, with eleven to go!  We are hanging in there trying to keep ourselves occupied as we wait.  I must say that this week hasn't been that bad.  I took off work to relax, hang with Thomas and Gus and give our lil' guys a good chance at attaching.  It's been a nice, stress free few days. 

Someone asked me today if I was feeling any pregnancy symptoms.  I am feeling signs, but it's due to my nightly progesterone shots.  They put off a lot of the same things a newly pregnant women would feel.  Speaking of these shots...HUGE NEEDLES...thank goodness for the lidocaine cream.  Without that cream it would be a long 12 weeks!  Tomorrow, I go to see Dr. L.B. for acupuncture.  I'm sure she'll get a good laugh out of Thomas's blue sharpie circles he's drawn all over my butt!!!  Each night he draws a circle and places the lidocaine in it, so then 45 minutes later he won't miss the spot with the shot.  I'll take a sharpied behind over the pain of that big needle any day!!!

Our family and friends have once again been over the top amazing!  We can't thank you enough for all the thoughts and prayers!  Thank you also for the visits, cards, messages & fabulous food!  My fam surprised us and brought dinner, cake, and flowers over for my birthday...made a perfect ending to our great day!   Megan brought her famous "steak soup" & cornbread to us for egg/retrieval! Tuesday night Sharon brought us chicken pot-pie, blueberry bread, & brownies!  Today, Joell & Jill came to visit with chocolate chip cookies!  We feel very blessed!

We've been praying this prayer for our lil' peas each night....we pray it twice, one time for each of our peas!

Bless this Little Child, Lord

Lord, look down from

heaven above

And touch this special

child with love,

Protect and guide

this little one

Till each and

every day is done:

Remind us often

that it's true:

This little life is a gift from You.

A miracle you've

sent our way!

Lord, bless this

little child today.

Transfer Complete = Best B-day Ever!

Today was one day that I will never forget!  We got to the fertility center at 1:30.  They took us back to meet with Dr. B.  She said that it has been a roller coaster of a few days, but our two lil' guys hung in there and are doing great.  One of them was still rated at a 3, while the other one had jumped up to a 4 (This is great news considering the scale ranges from 1 to 4)!  We signed the transfer papers and they took me to the back to get changed into my favorite get-up...hospital gowns, grippy socks, & the sexy hair net!  The nurse then took me back to the operating room to prepare me for transfer.  Let me emphasize that they told me to come with a full bladder and at this point I am already about to explode.  She got me situated on the table and then we waited for what seemed like hours to someone with a close to exploding bladder.  Finally, Dr. B came in and began the transfer.  The worst part is that while Dr. B is transferring, the nurse is pushing on my FULL blatter with the ultrasound.  The only thing running through my head over and over was....please don't pee on Dr. B, please don't pee on Dr. B!  Dr. T brought in our two lil' peas, handed them over to Dr. B, she then transferred them and I was on my way to recovery.  I was to wait another 30 minutes tilted upside down with hopes that they are securing themselves for the long haul!  We then headed straight to Dr. L.B. for acupuncture. She was awesome to get us in right away, within an hour after transfer.  It was relaxing from what I remember of it...I was kinda out of it due to the meds they gave me for transfer...pretty sure Dr. L.B. and Thomas got some good laughs!

We even got pictures of our two lil' peas...they're the cutest circle of cells I've ever seen!  Thomas and I were so excited that we even had to take our first family photo!

Thank you Lord for our two lil' peas & my miraculous birthday presents....they are perfect!  We now pray that they both attach and hold strong!

One Great Day!

It's been a long day, but a great one too!  This morning we got up and went to church, which helped with the waiting game, but we were definitely nervous/excited for ten to roll around.  Thomas, Mark, Mom, & I decided to try out a new little coffee shop for breakfast...so there we sat...Thomas made the call...no message on the PRN line.  So, we sat and he called over and over & still no message.  10:30 rolled around and still no dice!  Then, my phone rang & the caller I.D. read "Dr. B"....wow, was I nervous to answer that phone call.  I answered it & the IVF coordinator began telling me to be at the fertility center tomorrow at 1:30...I had to interrupt her and ask, "So, does this mean that our embryo's are doing good"?  She responded with some great news: "Yes, their both doing very good, rated at 3's and are ready for transfer tomorrow."  I can't remember anything else that she said...I hung up the phone, turned to Thomas with a huge smile & some tears & I told him the news!  The first thing out of his mouth..."Kelly, what's tomorrow"?  Then, it hit me...tomorrow is my birthday & I'm going to receive two lil' miracles as gifts!  How awesome is that!  Maybe, just, maybe 27 won't be so bad after all!

So, now we continue to pray for our lil' peas to attach tomorrow and to hold strong & grow, grow, grow!!!  We go in for transfer at 1:30 and then directly to Dr. L.B.'s for acupuncture.  Tomorrow's going to be another great day!!!

Living Update to Update

After, a sleepless night and a restless morning ten a.m. finally came around.  I couldn't make the call to the PRN line...way to nervous, Thomas had to do it.  Our nurse said that of our five eggs only two had fertilized & for us to check back at ten a.m. tomorrow to see how the two are coming along.  So, there you have it...we are down to two.  We feel like we're swimming up-stream, but as Thomas says, at least we're still swimming!  Two is better than one or even none, so for now we are going to do our best to stay positive & pray for our two lil' peas to stay strong! 

The countdown is on for our next update...12 more hours!

Egg Retrieval Complete

It's 12:10 a.m. and I wide awake having trouble falling back asleep...way too much rolling through my head.  We went in today or I guess now it's yesterday at 8:15 am for egg retrieval.  They took us back and got me prepped for the operating room.  Once again I had to sport the sexy socks and hair net with my trendy gown...Thomas got a good laugh...& again him and the nurse got in some good jokes!  The anaesthesiologist came and talked with us and then it was time to be taken to the operating room.  With a kiss goodbye and a good luck to Hardy I was on my way.  I remember laying on the operating table for what seemed like forever while he tried both hands over and over trying to get my I.V. started...my veins pulled their normal tricks & fought a hard fight against the needle.  He told me he was going to try one last try before moving to the NECK...thankfully, he finally got it!  The next thing I remember is waking up in recovery.

Thomas was next to me when I came to...I looked at him and right away asked, "How many eggs"?  In my mind I so wanted him to reply with ten minimum.  But, he didn't say ten or even close to ten.  He said, "Five" & at that moment I lost it emotionally.  I knew our odds for a successful cycle had gone down considerably and I couldn't handle it.  I felt the tears begin to run down my cheeks.  Thomas was awesome, he held my hand, talked me through it, and stayed as strong as ever....yet another reminder of how lucky I am to have him in my life not only as my husband, but as my best friend....so blessed!  It wasn't long before Dr. B came in to talk with us.  She was  incredibly caring as she obviously could tell I was disappointed and held my other arm as she talked to us.  She said that I had upwards of twelve, but of those, some were too big/mature, some too small, and some were good follicles but just didn't house eggs.  That left us with five out of the twelve that were in good shape with good eggs.  She talked about how yes we were shooting for ten and yes, that would have increased our odds drastically, but sometimes it just doesn't work out as we hope it will....& now we focus on the five good ones. She said with my age, we still have good odds at fertilization.  Then, she ended with a story about her growing up & having downer days like this....she said when the sun comes up tomorrow things will be better!  That's why I love her and am confident in her ability to help us, she's an amazing doctor with a heart that truly cares about her patients!

As Thomas and I headed to the car I caught myself giving our five lil' guys a pep talk as the tears still fell.  Please, Lord help them to make it through the night....all of them!  I get it that statistically the odds are not in our favor, but please make an acceptation.  We've never wanted something so bad.  I promise we will be exceptional parents...we're so excited and ready to share our love with a sweet addition!  I mean, look at Thomas, he's going to be the best Dad!

I don't think of myself as a very emotional person, but today showed me otherwise.  It has been a tough day filled with lots of tears and loads of prayers. Thank goodness for our awesome families and great friends who are all in our corner with open arms.  We wouldn't be able to make it through days like this without you all.  Thank you from the bottom of our hearts for all the thoughts and prayers!  We love you all!  So, we will continue to pray for our five lil' peas to stay strong.  As, I mentioned at the beginning, there's too much going through my head to sleep...I'm so excited yet scared for 10 am to get here.  That's when we get the update on them and we will know how many fertilized and what each embryo rates.  Lord, I pray for these lil' guys...be with them and if it's your will let us beat the odds and get five for five!!!

Day 11 Stim Update

Today has been a great day!  I arrived at school early to prepare for a guest speaker to talk to my class about his experiences as a pilot in Chad & The Democratic Republic of Congo.  It was awesome...the kids loved him, his pictures, & his stories.  It's always cool as a teacher when I can see my students making real life connections with the present content I am teaching them!

Next, I picked up Hardy and we headed to the Fertility Clinic for yet another day of u/s & blood work.  My veins were once again adamant about not cooperating, so it took tries on both arms before we were told to go in for our u/s and to come back for her to try again on the blood struggle.  My follicles looked ginormous! Too many to count in the right ovary & still just three in the left ovary....although, I must give the left some credit...two of those three looked and measured perfect!  I received my last injection of follistim & headed back for round two of blood work...two more sticks and she got it! Thank Goodness!!!

Thomas called our PRN line at 2:00 to find out some exciting news...my follicles are ready!!!  We will trigger tonight at 11:00 and come in for egg retrieval Friday morning at 8:15!  We are both full of emotions...super excited, incredibly scared, & yet full of hope!  With God's will, we will have our little Pea's in incubators by Friday afternoon! 

I ended the day by seeing Dr. L.B. for acupuncture and I'll go back again tomorrow for another session to prepare my body for retrieval.  She's all about timing it perfect with my cycle.  Transfer day will fall on either Monday or Wednesday of next week.  I'll go back to Dr. L.B. within an hour after the transfer is complete.  This is one crazy journey, but it will be completely worth all the doctors, pills, shots, & appointments when we get that first positive!  We pray, pray, pray for a successful cycle!

Day 10 Stim Update

Went in today for another u/s & blood work.  My follicles looked huge & feel huge (wow...feel like I'm about to explode), but they left us a message on our PRN line saying that we have to come in for another appointment tomorrow morning.  My follicles just aren't completely ready yet & Dr. B wants them to be perfect.  Dr. B knows best, so we will push it back a day with hopes of some of the lil' ones to grow leaps and bounds over night!  Come on Ms. Left Ovary, this is your last chance to step it up and shine!  Ms. Right Ovary, nice job thus far.... please don't explode as we wait & give Ms. Left some much needed pointers!!!

We are to take another follistim shot tonight & ganirelex shot in the morning along with all my pills.  Back to see Dr. B at 9:00 for what should be our last u/s & blood work before retrieval!  Also, back to Dr. L.B. for acupuncture tomorrow afternoon.  We are super stoked and can't wait for the next few days to play out!  We continue to put this all in God's hands as we pray for God to help Dr. B to do what she does best! 

Day 9 Stim Update

We went to see Dr. B this morning to check on our follicles.  The "blood stud" was back today, so I thought it would be a one stick morning....well so much for hopeful thinking, she tried each arm with the butterfly needle before telling me to come back after my u/s for her to try again!  My veins are adamant about keeping my blood in....they better start cooperating because they talked today about the possibility of taking it through my NECK!  Awesome, huh? Just how everybody wants to start their day...a needle to the neck! 

My follicles looked GREAT in the right ovary. She counted 10 that measured in the high teens to twenty & said that there were also some smaller ones that could still make a comeback.  My left ovary stepped up to help out but barely...she saw 2 good sized follicles and one little one. Beggars can't be choosers...2 is better than one! Thank goodness the right ovary is working overtime!!!

Thomas checked our PRN line this afternoon and the IVF coordinator told us to take the follistim shot tonight & again in the morning along with the ganirelex shot and am pills.  Then, we are to come back to the office tomorrow at 8:15. 

We are getting soooo excited! Well, lets be honest...excited & nervous all at once!  This is going to be a really big week....egg retrieval/egg hunt will for sure happen no later than Friday!  Prayers are in full throttle!

Day 7 Stim Update

I went back to see Dr. B on Saturday (Day 7 of Stim shots) for another u/s & blood work.  Due to it being the weekend, the regular "awesome" blood getter lady wasn't there, so of coarse, getting my blood was a struggle.  It took this lady lots of sticks, and both arms before she got it. She told me that my veins are the smallest she has ever seen...Thanks Mom & Dad for this awesome pass me down feature!

Dr. B did my u/s and found 10-11 good sized follicles in the right ovary and only 1 in the left :(  She said that sometimes this happens, where on side just gives up while the other side works really hard.  She didn't seem too concerned, so I'm trying not to worry about it, although I would really love for Ms. Left Ovary to wake it up & to realize it's game time!!! I still have hope for a comeback on the left!!! The more follicles we have...the better our chances for a successful cycle!

We are to keep taking the follistim shots, the pills, & are to add the ganirelex shot (this one will keep me from ovulating).  Return back to the doctor Monday morning!

Day 5 Stim Update

We went to see Dr. B this morning for an u/s and blood work.  I had seven follicles in the right ovary and three follicles in the left.  She also said there were a few more that were too small to measure, but they could still grow bigger in time for retrieval.  I'm not gonna lie...I was a bit bummed about the total follicle count...I was hoping for a number in the high teens :(  Thomas called the PRN line at 2:00 and the IVF coordinator said that everything looked good and to keep up with the stim shots at the same dosages and then back to the fertility center on Saturday for another u/s & blood work.  Time to pray for those lil guys to grow, grow, grow!!!

I also went to see Dr. L.B. today and it went really good. I'm so glad we added acupuncture to this crazy journey...I feel like it's helping tons & bonus: it's straight up relaxing!  Next week we will do extra treatments timed out perfect with egg retrieval and implantation.  Dr. L.B. is planning it all out to the hour as to when I need to come in.  She also made me feel a lot better about the number of follicles and told me not to worry one ounce about it.  So, as Dr. L.B. requested...I'm going to stay clear of googling info and am just going to relax with a clear mind & I'll just pray about it...putting this all in God's hands!

It's looking like egg retrieval or as my friend Missy calls it: the "egg hunt" will happen either Wednesday, Thursday, or Friday of next week.  Holy Cow! We're so excited! This time next week our lil' peas will... hopefully, fingers crossed, praying hard...be more than a wish or a hope!

Happy V-Day & Happy Anniversary T!

I feel so unbelievably blessed!  Today, is our Wedding Anniversary and I am reminded of how lucky I am to have such an amazing husband. The time since we said, "I Do" has flown by, but it has been, hands down, the time of my life! I love you T.C.H!  Thanks for being you!

Baby Update:
We started shots Sunday and are doing them everyday twice a day: 7:00am & 7:00pm.  So far, so good!  Thomas has got the dosages down and has been a great shot-giver (haha, never thought I would say that about my husband)!  I have been bruising after every shot, so my stomach is beginning to look like a battlefield...good thing it's not bathing suit season!  This week I go back to Dr. L.B. for acupuncture on Wednesday & Dr. B on Thursday morning.  Dr. B will check to see if the stim shots are working by doing an u/s & blood work.  She will also tell us when to start Ganirelix shots.

Here's a pic of Thomas preparing to give me my first shot...he actually read the directions...shocker! Also, a pic of Gus on his birthday crawling through a tunnel!

A "lil" Update

Wednesday I headed back to Dr. L.B.'s for acupuncture.  I believe this marks my 5th week in a row with Dr. L.B. and it is going awesome.  I really think the acupuncture has something to do with how great everything looked in my baseline u/s earlier this week! 

I also got a message on our PRN line:  Dr.B's IVF coordinator said that my ultrasound and blood work looked great.  She said to take my last BC pill Tuesday, then no meds besides pre-natals and folic acid for the next four days.  Then on Sunday the 13th we are to start dexamethasone and stim shots.  (Thomas is going to be a pro shot giver by the time this is all over!)  We then return to see Dr. B on Thursday the 17th for an u/s & blood work.

This weekend is going to be busy at the Hardy house.  Gus's 4th birthday is Saturday, Sunday we start meds, and Monday is Valentines Day/Our Anniversary!!!

Another snow storm: UNBELIEVABLE!!!

I'm beginning to feel like I'm back in the Minnesota Tundra!  It's freezing here paired with lots and lots of snow.  I mentioned in an earlier post that we received 21 inches last Tuesday.  Well, it has only gone down hill since: on Friday we received another 3 inches and are expecting the next big snow storm to move in tonight and tomorrow.  They are projecting another 8-12 inches!  This is out of control!  School has been canceled for 6 straight days and it's looking doubtful that we will return at all this week.  I'm definitely beginning to miss my students, but no worries...at this rate I'll be seeing them through July...YIKES!

Due to the snow storm moving in tonight, Dr. B went ahead and let me come in this morning (a day early) for my baseline ultrasound and blood work.  The ultrasound looked great...no cysts...so, now I wait until 2:00 to call my PRN line to hear about my blood work.  Speaking of blood work: my veins were not cooperating this morning.  She tried...dug for my vain...then gave up...told me to come back after my ultra sound.  When I came back she used what she called a "butterfly" (not sure why it's called that, didn't look anything like a butterfly) to get my blood and it worked like a charm.  She said from now on to remind her every time to use the "butterfly".  I told her not to worry, "I'll remember"!

Great News: The financial coordinator informed us that yesterday they received the clearance from our insurance company & they're going to cover a portion of our IVF cycle!  That's an answer to our prayers...so thankful!!!

Oklahoma Blizzard

My appointment with Dr. L.B. was cancelled for today & who knows when it will be rescheduled.  The blizzard dumped us with a record breaking 21' inches of snow.  That amount in OK creates straight up craziness!  There are drifts all the way to the rooftops and school is closed again tomorrow.  I spent two hours last night shoveling a path from the front door to the driveway and then only got ten or so feet down the driveway....and I was spent.  The snow across the driveway is thigh deep do to drifts.  I went out again today for an hour and barely made it half way.  Talk about a good workout!  I feel like my back and arms might break and fall off!!! 

Baby Update:

The IVF financial coordinator called today and is still having trouble with our insurance company.  They still haven't officially confirmed to insure our cycle.  We had heard that they had approved it, but then got a letter from them asking for more information.  I don't understand!  They have all of our records and the fertility center has called them over and over and can't get an answer.  Please pray for us that this goes through...this is huge financially!  As for appointments: Dr. L.B later this week & Dr. B next Wednesday.

Here's why I am so stinking sore & another reason why I am missing "Hardy"...why does he have to be gone during a blizzard?!?  Lord, help him to make it home safe and sound today....he has lots of shoveling ahead of him!!!

Snow! Snow! Snow!

It's a blizzard outside...we've already gotten over a foot of snow and it's still coming down!  We are definitely snowed in.  Good thing Mom made it over last night, so it's a movie marathon day! It's looking like school will be out for the rest of the week.  Tulsa is completely out of commission today and tomorrow's looking a little sketchy too.  Hopefully, I'll make it to my doctors appointment tomorrow.

Update:

Last Thursday Thomas & I went to our big appointment.  First, Dr. B did the trial transfer and ultrasound with contrast.  It was a little uncomfortable and crampy, but not bad at all.  Next, we headed to patient education which was a bit overwhelming.  Talk about a ton of information...HOLY COW!  I hope Thomas took good notes...especially on the shot-giving...wow, those were some huge needles!  I go in for my baseline ultrasound and blood work on the 9th and then begin IVF meds two days later.  It's looking like egg retrieval and transfer will be the last week of February (We are so exctied...it's almost here).  Dr. B also got me on prescription folic acid and some special pre-natals.  Thomas & I are both taking antibiotic Z-pacs this week in order to make sure are bodies are good to go for next week.   That brings my pill total for this week to 6/day...3 folic acid pills, 1 pre-natal, 1 antibiotic, & 1 birth control. (Mary sure would be proud!)

I'll update again tomorrow after my appointment with Dr.L.B. That is if I make it out in this "Winter Wonderland"!!!  Here's a pic looking out the front door:

And So It Begins...

Tomorrow we go to Dr. B's for trial transfer, ultra-sound with contrast, patient education, and a financial meeting...I'll definitely post another update tomorrow night.  As for today, I went to see Dr. L.B. for acupuncture.  It again went great and was very relaxing. So weird that needles sticking all over my body can equal relaxation... it blows me away every time!

A special delivery arrived in the mail today...a box full of medicines, syringes, and lots of needles.  This means that it's officially time for our IVF cycle to begin!  It's hard to believe that it's here, but we are beyond excited!  Crazy to think that a month from now our lil' miracle will hopefully be in the oven!  Just the thought of that makes me a bit misty...I pray that it works...please, Lord be with us and our doctors throughout this journey and if it's your will... bless us with a little baby "Hardy" miracle....we will forever be thankful!

                                                      "Our Delivery of Meds"

Chinese Medicine...Bring it!

Today, has been perfect!  The snow is falling and school is out for the day...to top it off, Thomas flew home a day early and surprised me last night! So, it's Hardy, Gus, and I enjoying our day together.  Tomorrow, Gus heads to Camp Bow Wow and we catch our flight to Florida.  Life is good!

Baby Update:
Thomas and I had heard and read a lot about acupuncture and how it can increase your odds for a successful IVF cycle.  Kinda crazy but with that in mind...we were sold.  So, we searched and searched for someone in Tulsa that specialized in infertility, was nationally certified, and was also a doctor.  With some research we found the perfect acupuncturist.  Not only, is she fully accredited, but she's also a doctor and her office is close to Dr. B's.  I went in for my first appointment last Thursday and it was awesome!  She was very thorough, caring, and motivated to help Thomas and I.  She also helped me with my diet...informing me of foods to stay away from and lots of foods that were good to eat for infertility.  The acupuncture part didn't hurt a bit, and actually it was very relaxing.  So, Dr. L.B. is now officially on our team of doctors and I'm stoked about it!  I will visit her every Wednesday from now until after we get pregnant.

All of my drugs for IVF will arrive on the 25th, and we go for patient education/trial transfer/ultrasound on the 27th.  So, with that said, it all begins exactly one week from today!

Let the Appointments Roll In

I have some huge updates...

Update #1:  Thursday evening Thomas and I were finally able to relax and be a bit less stressed.  We were getting worried about Thomas missing appointments due to work trips, but the IVF coordinator called and scheduled patient education for the 27th....which is perfect...Thomas won't miss a beat. 

Update #2:  This coming up week we have no appointments.  The following week I have trial transfer and ultrasound, plus blood work.  The week after that is patient education and then we start injections the first week of February. 

Update #3:  Thursday evening we also met with Dr. N for counseling.  I have to say that it went really well.  He talked with us about everything we're about to endure and how we can manage it.  He had a lot of good advice and as we talked to him it began to sink in...just how intricate/serious/amazing this whole process is going to be.

Update #4:  Before this all begins we are taking a trip to Florida!!!  This will hopefully be our last trip as a family of 3 (Hardy, Gus, & I).  So, we figure this will be a perfect way to relax and enjoy each other before we jump into IVF. Oh, how we can't wait to get there! We're going to stay with my Uncle Duke and Aunt Phyllis in Vero Beach....so excited to see them!

So, until next time we will be praying and praying and praying for all of these appointments, medicines, surgeries, and needles to result in a lil' beautiful addition to the "Hardy" fam.  We are soooo excited to see what God has in store for us!

2011 Here We Come!

Well, lots has happened since my last post.  Thomas, Gus, and I made the long journey to Beach, ND.  It took us 18 hours all through the night.  I was on board, so of course we hit a blizzard!  But, it was well worth the drive...we had loads of fun and a fantastic Christmas!  Its official, Gussers loves the snow and he really loves Grandma Jean's iced sugar cookies (sorry about that Jean)!  We headed home Christmas night and arrived back in OK just in time for the "Murray" Christmas, which was also a huge success!  Mac, Kellen, and Adam were the cutest.  We had lots of fun watching them rip into their presents!

As for our lil pea...we went to see Dr. B on December 28th for my post-op appointment.  She showed me all the pictures she took of my insides (kinda cool, how many people can say they have seen their insides...haha) and told me all about the surgery.  She also talked with us about our next step in our infertility journey.  She said that had she found lots of endometriosis and been able to remove it than she would want to do a few more IUI's, but because we're still in the unknown IVF is definitely her recommendation.  She mentioned that it could be that the problem is with the sperm and egg connecting and with IVF we will be able to fix that and learn more about what's happening.  Thomas and I both feel very confident about moving on to IVF and we are getting really excited!!! 

The IVF coordinator should call this week to set up all of our appointments.  The first ones will include a trial transfer procedure, patient education, a financial meeting, and couples therapy session for stress management.  January and February will be crazy with all the appointments and needles (Thomas's favorite thing), but it will all be worth it.  Hopefully...if all goes as planned... around October we will finally meet "Baby Hardy" and we can't wait for that day!!!

Black "n" Blue

On Wednesday we arrived at the Hospital at 10:00 a.m.  They took us back around 11:00.  As soon as we got back there Thomas had to help me get dressed into a gown, dorky socks, & a nerdy hair net.  Of course, right away he wanted to take a pic, but thankfully I talked him out of it....that was until the nurse came and talked Thomas right back into taking a pic and trying to convince him to post it on facebook!!!  He did take a pic, but thank goodness it didn't make a facebook appearance.   They started an IV and the anaesthesiologist came to talk with us while we waited.  Dr. B also came and talked with us for a bit.  This was the worst part...waiting....Thomas & I just kept telling each other that this is one more step closer to starting our family!!! 

A nurse came at about 12:15 to take me to the operating room.  With a kiss goodbye from Hardy, I was off.  That was one crazy feeling...walking into the operating room knowing that you are getting ready to be worked on.  The nurses helped me get on to the operating table and then I just remember a lot of people moving all around me getting things ready.  The anaesthesiologist came in and told me to pick a destination because he was about to send me on a trip...and that's the last thing I remember about the operating room.  When Dr. B finished, she went out and talked to Thomas.  She told him the my uterus looked good, and that one of my ovaries looked great, but the other one wasn't so good.  She made an extra incision to cut off adhesion's from the fallopian tube.  I guess she talked to me too and showed me pics, but I don't remember anything.  I'm looking forward to meeting with her at my post-op appointment to find out all the details.


An hour and a half later, when I came to in recovery I immediately felt like someone had shot me in the shoulder...Dr. B wasn't kidding about the weird shoulder pain!!!  For the next couple hours I just remember being kinda in and out.  They were giving me morphine for the pain, which made my skin burn and my body shake, but totally eliminated the pain.  Around 3:15 they took me into a different recovery room where I finally got to see Thomas and my mom.  Poor Thomas, didn't make it too long....he was definitely in pass out mode just looking at me and thinking about what had happened.  So, I talked him into waiting outside for me while mom and the nurses helped me get dressed.  Good thing he stepped out....one of my incisions had burst open!!!  He would have been passed out for sure!!!  Once, I was cleaned up and dressed I stood up and tried to get in the wheelchair, but couldn't make it...felt like I was going to pass out too. Mom fanned me for a while and finally, around 4:30 I was able to be wheeled to the car.  I owe Thomas and my mom a huge thank you...they were awesome....and took great care of me!!!

I guess I didn't think the pain would be as bad as it has been.  I'm very sore, black and blue, and my entire abdomen is swollen.  Wednesday I was pretty out of it, yesterday the pain was pretty bad, so I'm hoping today will be lots better.  My husband has been the greatest!  He's taking great care of me!  Once again, I don't know what I did to be blessed with such an amazing man!!!! 

Here's one of the pics he took of me while waiting...thankfully this is minus the hair net! Check out those socks!!!

Pre-Op Complete

I went this morning to meet with Dr. B and then on to the hospital.  She told me what to expect, every detail of the surgery, gave me my prescription for pain meds, and answered my questions.  It definitely made me feel better when she told me that not only is she the surgeon, but she has also been the patient for this same surgery...so, she knows exactly what it feels like and what the recovery is like.  She warned me that the worst part is the air.  During surgery she will insert air into my abdomen, to blow it up so she can see what's going on.  Before sewing me up, she will get as much of the air out, but more than likely won't be able to get all of it and therefore it goes into my bloodstream and causes shoulder pain....weird huh.  She'll meet with me right before they put me out, and as soon as she's finished she'll meet with Thomas.  She's thinking the surgery will take probably around an hour and a half - two hours.  If she needs to make decisions during surgery about removals...I signed off that Thomas can make the decision...lucky guy! 

The hospital pre-op was a bit more time consuming.  I had to answer 9,000 questions, urine sample, blood work, and then answer another 9,000 questions about my latex allergy.  I think they were more concerned about Thomas feeling comfortable than me....she told me three times that he needs to bring a jacket (so he doesn't get cold in the waiting room), a snack (because he will be very hungry) and something to read (because he will be in the waiting room for 6 hours and she doesn't want him to be bored)....unbelievable!!!

So, Wednesday it is....arrive at 10:00, surgery begins at 11:45, and approx. 4-5 hours in recovery.  I'm really more excited to know what's going on than worried.  I'll be fine...and I have Christmas to look forward to!!!